Crap.

I'm of a mind that celebrities have the same right as anyone else to speak their piece when it comes to politics. Make no mistake; I believe that Rosie, Alec, and even Sean Penn can say whatever the hell that they want to say. (The obvious exception being that Alec can call Cheney a terrorist, but when he calls his daughter a pig his visiting rights probably ought to be limited.) At the same time, I've got the right to shut them off, to boycott their movies or shows, and to refuse to support networks that promote their views. At no point do I feel like the government needs to intervene, even when folks are spouting lies about our president and about our troops. Except in the most rare of circumstances, such as those handful of areas outlined in the United States Constitution, I don't really think that the government needs to get involved in much at all.

However, Sheryl Crow thinks that the government is needs to tell me how many squares of toilet paper I should use in one sitting. Now, without being too graphic, let me just say that my physiology makes it literally impossible to use less than 5 squares on a good day. I'm sure that Sheryl recognizes these sorts of situations must exist, so I assume that, because she doesn't "want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights," Sheryl would promote a system whereby, if I provide a notarized note from my doctor, I could be allowed a few extra squares. Of course, my TP license would have to be renewed on a regular basis, to make sure that the situation hasn't resolved itself. After all, it wouldn't be fair to everyone else if I got to keep using 5 squares.

Now, I used to have quite a bit of respect for Sheryl. She went on the USO tours, and was relatively mellow about the whole government-is-the-answer thing, preferring to take the individual responsibility route. I don't know if it's Laurie David's influence, or if she's just gone off her rocker the way that celebrities are prone to do. Truthfully, I don't much care. With this, I've lost respect for her.

The hypocrisy of the left on the issue of the environment has been covered elsewhere, but let me just point out that there are a hell of a lot of ways that Sheryl could reduce her carbon footprint, apart from restricting my use of TP, starting with the crap she needs for a tour. Hell, I'm not even calling for the government to force her to do anything. I'd like to see her announce that she's dropping 1 if not 2 busses. I'd like to see the plan for using all of that food and drink she demands, without having any go to waste. Nope, that would be too difficult. Better to have the government force Bob Younce use 1 square of TP than to disappoint her bass player.

Father of the Year

I'm not saying I'm the best father in the world. To be sure, I try to be. I make sure that my kids have a roof over their heads and food on the table. I take an active role in their education. I try to encourage their skills and their interests, and I try to look after their health concerns. I love my kids.

Yeah, I can be grumpy. Moody, even, my wife would say. There have been times, as a parent, that I've used harsher words than what fit the situation. In fact, if I have one major weakness as a parent, this is probably it. So, please believe me when I say up front that I really do know what it is like to overreact, and to say things that you don't entirely mean to your kids.

But Alec Baldwin is out of his freaking mind. On top of that, he is a self-important jackass whose parental rights need to be, at the very least, reexamined. Part of his two-minute tirade on his daughter's voicemail goes like this:

“I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old or 11 years old, or a child,
or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what
you do.”

Hear the audio here.

Now, if Imus deserved to be fired for saying "nappy-headed ho's," NBC had best be dropping 30 Rock like a bad habit. This jackass threatened his own daughter, at least two different times telling her he'd "straighten her out."

I don't know what Baldwin's problem is. I don't know if it's drugs, mental illness, or if he's just evil. Part of me thinks that whatever it is about Baldwin that makes him do this is responsible, at least in part, for his out-there political views. At this point, however, I don't really give a damn what his problem is. I'd just like to see him face the consequences of his actions in court, and to lose his public soapbox.

Blinded by Ideology

We are less than 24 hours after the massacre at Virginia Tech.

Memorial service plans haven't even been finalized for the 32 victims of a derranged murderer.

Yet liberals are foaming at the mouth about gun control.

Now, I know us conservatives aren't supposed to have a heart, especially during a crisis. I know that that we've all got ice in our veins. I know we want to oppress women, starve old people, and make sure that minorities suffer. Hell, we're more often behind a crisis than not. I think I even remember seeing Cho at one of our super-secret meetings where we try to figure out how to keep stealing from the poor and giving to the rich.

Still, I've noticed something about my comrades in the vast right-wing conspiracy: none of us are turning the tragedy in Virginia into a political issue. We're not calling for immigration reform, educational reform, or loosening of gun control. Nope, we're just sad, like most Americans, as we mourn the loss of our countrymen.

Hillary and the Common Good

Sometimes, we have to be reminded. Hillary Clinton is a socialist, tried and true. While Bill may have been more pragmatic, Hillary really believes in the cause. And there is nothing more dangerous than a true believer in socialism.

Now, I have nothing, in a personal way, against socialists. It's just that our Constitution expressly embodies the opposite of socialism. The founders were all about limited government. Hell, even the so-called "Bill of Rights" was, by many of the time, seen more accurately as a "Bill of Prohibitions" - against the federal government. "Congress shall make no law..." is a pretty explicit phrase in regard to what it's trying to do. And, if there were any question, the ninth and tenth amendments spell it out: if the constitution doesn't specically proscribe a particular power, that power belongs to the states, and to the people.

The problem is that, by and large, even the conservative politicians don't tend to see the Constitution as sacred any longer. Politicians of both parties invoke the phrases they like the most, and that most fit their particular situation. But at the end of the day, even the most simple-minded gradeschooler can tell you that socialism and the U.S. Constitution are mutually exclusive.